Moving on

It’s inevitable for people to leave our lives, we are constantly growing and adapting so sometimes leaving people behind and moving on to different things is vital to growing. Thinking about this idea, however, is terrifying. I never know when it’s time to let something go. I always want to stay that little bit longer, just to see what happens. Even if in my head I know it won’t end well. This is most definitely a recent problem, starting new never used to scare me. I used to look forward to meeting new people and trying new things, now I’m just content with where I am and terrified of losing those around me.

Which is most probably why I’ve developed into such a sentimental and nostalgic person, I still own all my birthday cards from the age of 10, I just feel like I can’t let them go. Even cards from friends who are long gone, they sit in the back of my wardrobe and have done for years. I just can’t bring myself to throw them out.

Even though I don’t like moving on and accepting change it can sometimes pass un-noticed. You’ll become suddenly aware that your life has completely changed, and you were totally oblivious. You’ll be living one life, surrounded by a group of people, then one-by-one they’ll disappear and other people will replace them and before you know it you’ll have moved on to know a completely new group of friends and you won’t have even realised you had let the old ones go.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s important to move on. If something/someone is making you unhappy changing it is vital. But, I also think you should never forget, whether its old friends, an old job, relationship or school. Remembering what you left behind is as equally important as it was to move on in the first place.

150 Years Of Wonderland

So...150 years ago the infamous 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' was published for the first time. A story that has captivated numerous generations of children and adults alike. In my opinion, I think Wonderland has wonderfully enchanted all ages because of the utter ridiculousness. The mad brilliant adventures of Alice is a story that has inspired me in many ways. Therefore, in celebration of the 150th anniversary, I decided to re-read one of my all-time favourite childhood stories.

If, for some bizarre reason you've never read/seen any of the many adaptations of the story (the 1950's Disney one being ultimate fave). Alice is a 7 year old girl, bored in the typical life she lives she follows a rabbit down a rabbit hole and enters the magical world of 'Wonderland'. Where she meets lots of other weird and wonderful creatures with important moral (all of which are slightly crazy).

The reason I fell in love with this story is because I want to be in this story. As a child, I always liked the idea of one day walking home from school and seeing a silly little white rabbit with a pocket watch. It intrigued me to think that there was something more nonsensical that the world I knew. So, basically, I spent my childhood years escaping form multiplication by daydreaming about a certain Queen of Hearts and the Mad Hatter. 

Something else I find intriguing about the world of Wonderland are the strange theories on the internet. After stumbling across a fascinating article on Wonderland being a way for Alice to reject adult-hood and the stereotypes that surrounded Victorian society at the time. May only be me finding things like this interesting but honestly google Wonderland theories (bearing in mind some are slightly strange and inappropriate.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Alice here's to another 150 years of nonsensical madness.

Why Age Doesn't Link With Superiority

Some adults seem to have this idea that them being of an older age automatically means they deserve our respect? So, let me get this right, Hitler is so much older than I am this logic leads me to believe I should respect him despite the atrocious crimes he had committed? This sounds like I'm completely over-reacting but I believe the term 'respect your elders' is not a rule. 

People can go through heartbreak after heartbreak directly from their parents. Therefore, their parents surely don't deserve their love and respect? Respect is a concept that has to be given to people who are genuine and treat you with the equal amount of respect. So, your age does not determine any characteristics. It doesn't make you wiser or kinder or more intelligent. It doesn't give you more experience, someone who is 28 could live their life and gain more experience in their 28 years than an 80 year old. I mean, as David Tennant said, 'some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It's not the time that matters, it's the person.'  

Therefore, remember that being a certain age does not promise you anything. If someone treats you badly but then is certain you should still respect them because they are older and thus need more respect, don't listen to them for a second more. A person's respect is important and sacred, not something given out because of a stupid number despite the bad feeling you've endured from them.

The phrase 'you're just a child you wouldn't understand' is wrong, it's just wrong. A child could have experienced more pain and heartbreak or could be wiser or more intelligent than their parents, it just depends on the life they've lead. NOT THEIR AGE.

The Unexpected Difficultly Of Constant Happiness

"We're all just dreamers, nobody is ever permanently happy"

This quote is something I think about regularly. Many people's aspirations are to achieve 'happiness'. But I can assure you they'll never be a point where you're happy and nothing and nobody can change it. You don't turn 50 and suddenly you're indestructible. The truth is, we imagine permanent happiness and visualize it as being something waiting for us in the future, something to aspire towards, when in reality, the things that make us happy may change, but we'll stay the same.

Basically, there's not going to be a point when you stop crying and people stop letting you down and leaving you behind. There won't be a time where you just stop feeling sad. It's something, that unfortunately enough, we're going to have to face our entire lives and that's just the truth of it. 

However, this isn't necessarily a pessimistic thought that only really bitter people think about. For example, feeling alone is something every person feels at some point in their life, no doubt about it. But, imagine a world where people didn't feel alone, being around people wouldn't be special it's be ordinary, finding someone who makes you feel like you belong with them wouldn't be special and important. The point I'm trying to make is without the sad times, the times where you feel like you're done and you don't know what you can do to feel happier. The times of loneliness and despair just make the times when you're happy that little bit more important. People need to remember that happiness is merely an emotion, not a destination. They also need to remember that that's great! Being happy is brill, but sadness is also an ingredient (you might say) in the grand recipe of being happy, without it it'd just be a little too plain.

So just think about what makes you happy right in this second, because that's the best you're gonna get. Find people that make you happy and ditch those who don't if they're not making you happy now, you won't look back on them fondly in the future so find someone else who makes you hysterically laugh 'til it hurts.

The Inevitability of Feeling Lonely and Why That's Absolutely Fine

"I hope you're living a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

I like to think loneliness and feeling alone is when the universe is trying to make you reflect on your life, see if you're happy and if you're not change it. We reflect on our lives when we're sad, happiness doesn't need assessing. It's only when we're completely alone and it's 3AM and there's nobody around to distract yourself, that's when the loneliness kicks in and the overthinking starts.

But...what if it never goes away? What if you reach a point in your life where you never feel like you belong again, it's a scary thought and I often wonder if, in reality, anybody has ever had to face that struggle. Never-ending loneliness, it would make a good title to a book. (Probably a pretty sad book).

SO, here's my advice on the inevitability of feeling lonely:

1) It is definitely absolutely 100% fine, it doesn't mean nobody loves you and you're unwanted, maybe the universe really is just trying to tell you you really need to think and reflect and to do this you have to be well and truly alone.

2) In order to prevent it being constant, distractions are a must, but don't rely on people to be your distraction as they have their own life also. Start a new hobby (hint: this is mine) go for a long walk somewhere you've never been.  

3)  If you are well and truly lonely, listen to F.Scott Fitzgerald. Have the strength to start all over again, you're not weak, you only need yourself and if the right people come along then go for it but you need to be able to create your own world that makes you proud. Then you can well and truly never feel lonely.

I don't think it's humanely possible to never be lonely, I think it's something people need to feel in order to be happy, I think I think I think...(but, really, I'm not very sure myself).